Bumble Explains RickRolling: How To Do It, How to Protect Yourself, How to Get Sweet Revenge!


Last week Bumble was “RickRolled” by someone. First and foremost this isn’t the first time it’s happened to Bumble. Secondly, it occurred to Bumble that millions of innocent people are still vulnerable to this horrible internet phenomenon. Most of you don’t even know what it is, let alone how to prevent yourself from being victimized.

Some of us might not even know if we have been RickRolled. So we’ll start with an explanation.

What is RickRolling?

RickRolling is a classic bait and switch prank where you are sent an innocent looking link expecting to visit a harmless website. Instead, you end up with the 23 year old Rick Astley song “Never Gonna Give You Up” blasting from your speakers. Really Bumble cannot make this stuff up!

Was I RickRolled?

If you have ever clicked on a link that looked legit and instead been taken to watch Rick Astley sing and dance, then yes you have been RickRolled!

Side Effects Of Being RickRolled

Side effects may include:

  • Having “Never Gonna Give You Up” stuck on repeat in your brain’s me-pod for days.
  • A sense of shame or feeling of betrayal for having been tricked.
  • A loss of self esteem and possibly guilt for having enjoyed the tune.

Consequences to Uber Geeks and Internet Savvy People

The repercussions are even more severe and devastating to people that are familiar with the phenomenon. In the world of geeks, fooling someone into a good RickRoll is the equivalent of “made ya look”, “two for flinching”, or counting coup on a bear. It can escalate between colleagues and lead to hurt feelings and slap fights where both pasty nerds are winded but otherwise unhurt. Since most geeks are already pretty low on the social hierarchy, many take great pride in NOT being RickRolled. Bumble was going on two months of avoiding being RickRolled until the other day when he was fooled by someone he previously trusted. Bumble will not mention Joel’s name here to protect Joel’s anonymity. But if it is the last thing Bumble does in his ninth life he will humble you! Death to you! ahem… You see how it can get.

How did this insanity start?

Unbelievably Rick Astley didn’t start it. Though he has become somewhat of an icon from it. Rick has been very cool about it and in fact participated in some live RickRolls! Way to have a sense of humor about yourself buddy!

The prank most likely originated in 2007 when as a mutated form of “duckrolling”. Duckrolling was an earlier prank in which you sent a random link to a video that had something to do with ducks. The first instance of RickRolling seems to be in 2007, when someone posted a link on a video game discussion board which claimed to be the first trailer for Grand Theft Auto IV. Obviously, since the target was uber geeks looking to see the trailer for a 4th edition stupid video game, one can see how this spread so quickly on the interwebs. Uber geeks are notorious for their lack of immunity to “going viral”.

How do I prevent myself from becoming a victim?

Sadly, it is very difficult. Most “rollers” will mask the link they send you so that it looks like something else altogether. For instance, the YouTube link itself to the Astley video looks like this… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ. So there isn’t much of a give away there. It looks harmless enough. Maybe it’s just some kittens falling down a sliding board.

Please tell Bumble you did not just RickRoll yourself? Oh lord we have a lot of work to do.

To compound the deception, the link can be inserted into a web page in disguise like this. Click here, Bumble swears it is not a RickRoll.

Come on really? Some of you fell for that too? Bumble is trying to help you here! Help Bumble help you!

Finally since the uber geeks know better than to click on any YouTube link, and know the secret of hovering over a link to see where it leads, a more dastardly deception was cultivated.

The third and most evil trick is the short link or masked URL. This can be accomplished with a mod rewrite (only uber geeks should attempt this). However, it can also be accomplished by pasting any link into a web page like TinyURL.com. TinyURL will create a “shortlink” redirect for you that you can use to hide the true address. For example, the Astley YouTube link when pasted into TinyURL looks like this… http://tinyurl.com/y8ufsnp

You can also enter an alias at TinyURL and get something like this… http://tinyurl.com/HarmlessKittens.

So as you can see, it is virtually impossible to prevent yourself from being RickRolled. Which brings Bumble to the healing process.

The Two Steps to Recovering from a RickRoll

It can be quite embarrassing to be a victim. Here are some things to remember as you try to recover from being RickRolled.

Step One: You are not alone!

Over 25,000,000 people have visited the Astley video on YouTube. Almost none were voluntary! Some very famous and supposedly smart people are also in recovery. A partial list is below.

  • Protestors of the Church of Scientology
  • Eastern Washington University was RickRolled prior to game in 2008.
  • The New York Mets!
  • Customers of ThinkGeek.com (one of Bumble’s favorite places to shop). ThinkGeek actually put an ad on their home page for a “Betamax to HD DVD converter” which was instead a RickRoll. Ha! Love those guys.

The list goes on and on. Below is Bumble’s favorite RickRoll of all time! A wise-cracker at Fox News got Big Poppa Bill O’Reilly! It’s even funnier because poor Bill O’Reilly has no idea what is going on.

Step Two: Seek Revenge…

No self respecting recovery program would be complete without advising vengeance. Remember, revenge is best served cold. So be patient my minions. When the time is right, there is only one proper retaliation to being RickRolled.

Introducing the Bumble Roll! Are you ready Joel? Like El Chupacabra in the night, it is coming for you!!!

To Bumble Roll someone, send them this link:

If you or someone you love suffers from having been RickRolled, please join SERRF (Society to End Rick Rolling Forever). A portion of the proceeds goes to those suffering from Post Traumatic Rick Roll Syndrome.

Help those that cannot help themselves!

Posted in Internet Madness | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Bumble Tries to Understand Soccer enough to watch the World Cup, Help wanted!


Every four years the world enjoys a spectacle of magnanimous proportions centered around the most popular sport in the world, futbol! And every four years Americans are forced to face the fact that most of us just don’t get it. Despite being of Persian decent, Bumble was born and raised in the USA and is no exception.

Today Bumble attempted to watch the USA vs. England and get in the spirit. Instead this was just a stark reminder that non-American foreigners simply do not think like Americans. First of all we call it soccer. 300 million of us. 300 million people can’t be wrong. But somehow the other 5.7 billion people on the planet call this futbol. Once again proving that most other countries are just stupid or nuts.

Kim Jong-Il calls soccer futbol.

Kim Jong-Il calls soccer futbol too.

Bumble digresses and inserts a picture of Kim Jong-Il just to prove his point. Nevertheless, Bumble didn’t want to be left totally out. Heck, maybe this game is really fun to watch. Why not give it a chance? It has to be better than Nascar anyway. So Bumble tuned in for the USA vs. England. Immediately, Bumble started to notice some things that “futbol” is doing wrong. Oh, on the surface it seems like they at least got some things right. It is a two team sport with 11 players on each side. It’s played in two halfs. So far so good.

Uh oh, they are 45 minute halves. Well at least it isn’t 3 periods like infidel hockey. Unfortunately Bumble noticed the clock was running forward and not counting down like in real sports. That was the first WTF moment for Bumble from South Africa.

It also became apparent quickly that for some reason, bees or hornets are apparently sexually attracted to soccer balls.

One trillion horny bees descend on the World Cup

Shoo horny bee! Shoo!!!

Throughout the game you could hear the constant drone of what must have been trillions of buzzing insects. It became maddening! After just a few minutes of listening to this, Bumble could feel his shoulders tighten. It wasn’t the action of the game, it was the sound. Good lord make it stop! Buzzzz Buzzzz Buzzzz… Arrrrrgh!

At halftime they finally broke to the announcers and the incessant buzzing stopped. The score was tied 1-1. Bumble innocently started to ask Daddy some questions. His response was rolled eyes and some unprintable dialogue. It included something to the effect of “why not google it if you want to know?!”

Unfortunately, Bumble has been banned from Google due to recent uh incidents involving Googlebot. So if anyone knows about soccer please help Bumble and answer the following questions.

1. Why the hell don’t they get some bug spray and kill some of those damn buzzing bees?

2. Why does the stupid clock run forwards?

3. Why doensn’t someone just grab the ball and slam dunk it? Bumble could see using only your feet if it was a bunch of cats running around out there. But these are people with wonderful opposable thumbs!

4. How the hell can a bracket game end in a tie?

5. How the hell does halftime come at 47 minutes when it is a 45 minute period?

6. Why can’t they wait until they get to the locker room to take their shirts off?

7. How do they decide who is in group A, B, C, etc. Bumble is looking for a pattern but it doesn’t make much sense. Bumble would expect all the oil countries to be in one group, maybe all the third world countries in another. But this is just a mess. What to South Korea, Argentina, Nigeria and Greece have in common?!?! Are they all in the Pac 10?

8. Where the hell is Persia? Persia is not even on the bracket!

9. Where is Dick Vitale? How can you have any fun with bracketology without Dickie V!?

10. And finally, WTF is this?? How does Bumble bet on this stupid thing? Match 52? Match 51? They can’t put some flags on here?

FTW Cup

WTF is this???

Right now Bumble is so verklempt he needs to have a beer and watch some baseball or something that makes sense.

Please, if you know any of these answers help a Bumble out and comment below.

Posted in Sports | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Horrorscopes! Funny Horoscope translations for the new week!


Conjunction between Jupiter and Uranus this week. Bumble thanks the universe for this gift of easy pickings on the Horrorscope front.

Aries

Horoscope: This major conjunction is going to have a big effect on you. After months of seeking and searching for the real purpose behind your life, you’ll begin to get the bigger picture. It helps to plan ahead and not do anything too rashly, although taking risks is a part of this, too. Try to calculate the odds if you can. Thursday is especially lucky for you – think big deals swirling in the ether. Stay alert in order to catch that golden opportunity.

Horrorscope: The big epiphany is that your life has no real purpose except hedonistic self indulgence. Sounds like it’s time to go to the casino! After a successful round at the Mohegan, expect to find an unbelievable deal at Target later in the week. How did that designer end up at Target? Don’t question it, just buy it. The stars have aligned to drop it in your lap, might as well spend a little. No sense resisting the universe when it guides you to Target.

Taurus

Horoscope: Although you’re normally very down to earth, you may begin to be interested in the more spiritual side of life. Angels, meditation, yoga, channeling, and ESP are all grist for the mill. Your dreams may be especially vivid, so much so that you feel moved to start a dream diary. Listen to your intuition on Thursday because it could bring a very fortunate event your way. The New Moon on Saturday enables you to make a fresh financial start.

Horrorscope: Looks like Lifetime is running a marathon of “The Ghost Whisperer”. Go ahead and spend a Monday night watching it. Bumble will not judge (loser). After falling asleep watching your 12th episode in a row, you will have vivid dreams and decide to buy yet a second Hello Kitty Diary just to record your dreams. God you are sad. Anyway, as it turns out you are broke until payday this Friday. But by the time you get your check cashed on Saturday you will have forgotten your stupid Ghost Whisperer dreams and decide instead to buy the first Twilight movie on DVD and declare yourself a fulfilled spiritual entity. Weak!

Gemini

Horoscope: Jupiter and Uranus come together in a fabulous conjunction that takes place in your social zone. Good fortune shines on you when you network and dare to follow your dreams. Opportunities arrive out of the blue. There are also more chances to make money and become wealthy if you’re willing to listen to your intuition and act on the spur of the moment. The New Moon in your sign on Saturday allows you to make positive changes. You have two weeks!

Horrorscope: Really? Uranus is now in your social zone? Bumble doesn’t like the sounds of this at all! Opportunities arise out of the blue with your ass dangling out there in the social zone??? My god from the sounds of this, you have some latent issues which could lead you to earning a few extra bucks at an airport bathroom. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Ok, yeah there is a ton wrong with that! Don’t worry by Saturday it looks like you will have gotten your head (and Jupiter) out of your ass.

Cancer

Horoscope: If you’ve been working long and hard at your career, expect new developments. Some of them could appear out of the blue, while others could take longer to materialize. Overall, you’re about to enjoy a very successful phase. You’ll be more willing to take risks and more ready to step into the unknown. Venus in your sign is excellent for business or personal negotiations. You’ll even feel more attractive, too. Thursday is exciting – be ready!

Horrorscope: Frankly if you had been working long and hard at your career, you wouldn’t have time to be reading your Horrorscope. :p Nevertheless we will suspend our disbelief and pretend you are a real go getter from the coffee generation. Looks like someone dumber and lazier than you is about to get the axe at work, leaving you with an opportunity to make a little more money and move sideways at your job. Go for it, but hold out for a few extra bucks. Now that “dumbass” is gone they really need you to step it up and are willing to pay a little more. Use the extra money to buy yourself something pretty.

Leo

Horoscope: A conjunction between Jupiter and Uranus not only brings the possibility of an exciting new relationship your way but also spells out travel, lots of adventure, and the search for a lifestyle that gives you more freedom of expression. Listen to your intuition on Thursday and accept invitations to any social events. This is one of those especially lucky days when you might meet the love of your life. Saturday is party night. Whatever you’re up to – enjoy it!

Horrorscope: Good god these are easy pickings for Bumble! Well, watch out for airport bathrooms as you travel. Particularly when you are feeling the need to “search for a lifestyle that gives you more freedom of expression”. On your travels this week you will meet a very open Gemini. This person is probably the love of your life. Which says a lot about your life considering you will meet them in an airport bathroom!

Virgo

Horoscope: The conjunction between Jupiter and Uranus brings good fortune. The fact that it takes place in your joint financial zone means that if any money does come your way, it will likely be the result of business ideas or deals, an inheritance, or a lottery win. You could get a tax rebate, too, if you’ve overpaid. With Mars now in your sign after a long period in the Twelfth House, you’re bursting with energy and ready to go.

Horrorscope: Be open to blackmailing someone. With all the shenanigans that Jupiter and Uranus are causing you have a real opportunity to make some dough if you take some pictures under the stall walls at airport bathrooms. Since you are obviously a scumbag for even considering that, you are probably overpaid and therefore entitled to never pay taxes. The dividends will come in from your Haliburton stock which will offset your BP losses. Death to You!

Libra

Horoscope: As the conjunction between Jupiter and Uranus is going to be quite powerful, you could find yourself on an emotional roller coaster, one that’s going at quite a speed. Rather than get swept up in it all, you need to stand back in order to assess the situation. Listen to your body and your heart. Don’t leave yourself exhausted and burned out, even though you may be having a whale of a time. A meeting will knock your socks off.

Horrorscope: Uh-oh. Looks like your significant other has been “finding themselves” in airport bathrooms.

Scorpio

Horoscope: Both Jupiter and Uranus are going to bring change. The main focus is on your work, health, and lifestyle zone, where you could begin to feel very restless. Actually, you may have sensed this for some time, but from this week on it will be stronger than ever. You’re on the verge of a new dawn. In terms of your health, you could place your trust more in alternative healing methods. There could also be a move coming up for you.

Horrorscope: Oh come on. Two planets interact and suddenly the whole world has latent tendencies!!! Well sparky, I guess if the planets encourage it you might as well go ahead. Bumble suggests moving to San Francisco. What the hell might as well go balls out with the new change in your lifestyle. HAHAHAHAHA balls out.

Sagittarius

Horoscope: There will be a number of revolutionary changes in your life. Whether you’re dating or not, you may be tempted into serial affairs. This could cause a lot of problems unless you handle new energies in a way that’s uplifting for all concerned. If you’re tempted to begin a new business, then first think about devising a sound business plan. This will enable you to harness the power of the Jupiter/Uranus conjunction in a way that works for you.

Horrorscope: Hey good news! You do NOT have latent issues regarding your sexual orientation. But the bad news is that you are a dirty, dirty whore. Bumble wouldn’t suggest a new business venture unless it is turning tricks. You sound nasty! Please friend Bumble on Facebook.

Capricorn

Horoscope: There are going to be some major stirrings on the home front as Jupiter and Uranus combine energies. You have probably been feeling very restless for some time, but from this point on, the urge to move or travel will grow even more insistent. Thoughts of owning a place somewhere exotic may fill your mind. You need adventure and plenty of it. Thursday brings good fortune, especially if you listen to your heart. Start a new health routine on Saturday.

Horrorscope: San Francisco exotic enough? Good god how do new humans even get made when Jupiter is in conjunction with Uranus. Yeah yeah you have been restless. Try flying out to the bay area just for the hell of it. You don’t even need a plan. Bumble suspects you will never make it past the AIRPORT BATHROOM!

Aquarius

Horoscope: You’re filled with unique and innovative ideas. These are going to be your best resource in the future. The more you’re willing to implement them and be disciplined about bringing your dreams to life, the wealthier you’ll be. You’ll also be keen to purchase the very latest gadgets, and you may enjoy becoming an Internet marketing wizard. The New Moon on Saturday is great for starting a new love relationship. It’s also good for business deals.

Horrorscope: Wow. The actual horoscope suggests you become an Internet marketing wizard! Holy crap! Considering the typical audience here Bumble doesn’t even need to tweak this one. Once you have mastered the wizardry of internet marketing please tell Googlebot he is an @$$hole for Bumble.

Pisces

Horoscope: Big changes are coming to your personal financial zone. As Jupiter and Uranus merge energies, so you’re on the verge of exciting times ahead. You may get a windfall, so it’s certainly worth trying the lottery. But you could also find yourself much better off as a result of a career change. You’ll feel increasingly liberated the more you work at reforming and transforming your values. The New Moon in Gemini over the weekend is great for parties and entertaining.

Horrorscope: Find an Aries and head to the Mohegan Sun! Now! Go! You may not win enough to quit working altogether, but you should win enough to move and find a new career. Throw a weekend party with your winnings if you can get anyone out of the airport bathrooms.

Although you’re normally very down to earth, you may begin to be interested in the more spiritual side of life. Angels, meditation, yoga, channeling, and ESP are all grist for the mill. Your dreams may be especially vivid, so much so that you feel moved to start a dream diary. Listen to your intuition on Thursday because it could bring a very fortunate event your way. The New Moon on Saturday enables you to make a fresh financial start.
ADDITIONAL FORECASTS:
Taurus Love Horoscope:

Current planetary energies give you a feeling of stability… More »
Taurus Career Horoscope:

Get as much done as possible early this month. You may not… More »
Taurus Money Horoscope:

Taurus, you have an interesting issue on your hands this… More »
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Posted in HORRORscopes | 1 Comment